Two events made the headlines last week that could not have been more different. 

The first, looking East, was hopeful. It was the extraordinary visit of Pope Francis to Iraq with his message of peace, tolerance and fraternity. Only four years ago Islamic State had swept through Iraq with such devastating effect. He made a significant visit to the Shia leader Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, and at an Inter-Religious Meeting at Ur of the Caldeans, where Abraham the father of the 3 great monotheistic religions received his call, he described as the “the greatest blasphemy” was the act of “hating our brothers and sisters.” It is a reminder of how the work of inter-religious dialogue requires a great deal of humility, patience and respectful listening.

The second, looking West, was very sad. In California The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Harry and Meghan, gave their interview to Oprah Winfrey. It is obviously on a different level, and I would not want to make a cheap comparison. But how is it that we can all want to bring about world peace, but struggle to listen or talk to members of my own family?

That interview also highlighted once more how divided a society can be in its opinions, here between the young and the old which I will touch on in the second video. The sympathy of the under 25s lie decisively with Harry Meghan. The sympathy of the over 65s lie firmly with the Royal Family at home. 

Whether it is the divisions over Brexit or Trump, or the heated debates of the Handforth Parish Council - “You have no authority here, Jackie Weaver!” never has there been a greater need to listen before speaking, to try to understand what the other side thinks and feels. It is always time to stop shouting slogans and sit down and have a cup of tea, to work things out. 

But are we any better as a Church? Aren’t our divisions so evidently on show? Whether it is between denominations – that scandal of Christian disunity – or amongst ourselves in the Catholic Church. How do we move forward together? 

These are the background questions to these talks, where the intention is not to go into particular issues or the causes of division. It is simply to ask: How  can we walk together as brothers and sisters as Christ would wish? How might the Church be a better listener?

1 As often as anything important is to be done in the monastery, the abbot shall call the whole community together and himself explain what the business is; 2 and after hearing the advice of the brothers, let him ponder it and follow what he judges the wiser course. 3 The reason why we have said all should be called for counsel is that the Lord often reveals what is better to the younger. 4 The brothers, for their part, are to express their opinions with all humility, and not presume to defend their own views obstinately. 5 The decision is rather the abbot’s to make, so that when he has determined what is more prudent, all may obey. 6 Nevertheless, just as it is proper for disciples to obey their master, so it is becoming for the master on his part to settle everything with foresight and fairness.

7 Accordingly in every instance, all are to follow the teaching of the rule, and no one shall rashly deviate from it. 8 In the monastery no one is to follow his own heart’s desire, 9 nor shall anyone presume to contend with his abbot defiantly, or outside the monastery. 10 Should anyone presume to do so, let him be subjected to the discipline of the rule. 11 Moreover, the abbot himself must fear God and keep the rule in everything he does; he can be sure beyond any doubt that he will have to give an account of all his judgments to God, the most just of judges.

12 If less important business of the monastery is to be transacted, he shall take counsel with the seniors only, 13 as it is written: Do everything with counsel and you will not be sorry afterward (Sir 32:24).

“The glory of the created world in its astonishing multiplicity; the thousands of different languages spoken by mankind, the proliferation of cultures, the sheer variety of the imaginative expressions of the human spirit, in most of which, if we listen carefully, we will hear the voice of wisdom telling us something we need to know.  That is what I mean by the dignity of difference.”  Rabbi Jonathan Sachs

The word “synod” has deep roots within the Church’s tradition. It is a two-part Greek word: συν (with) and όδός (path). Putting the two together, the meaning of walking together along the way is conveyed. Jesus often taught His disciples as they walked “on the way”. This concept was so deeply rooted in the first Christians, that they became known as “followers of the Way”. From the Vatican Website

“Let us ask the Lord to free the Church from those who would make her grow old, encase her in the past, hold her back or keep her at a standstill.  But let us also ask him to free her from another temptation: that of thinking she is young because she accepts everything the world offers her, thinking that she is renewed because she sets her message aside and acts like everybody else.  No! The Church is young when she is herself, when she receives ever anew the strength born of God’s word, the Eucharist, and the daily presence of Christ and the power of his Spirit in our lives.  The Church is young when she shows herself capable of constantly returning to her source.” Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation, Christus Vivit, 35.

“Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who merely happen to be walking about. All democrats object to men being disqualified by the accident of birth; tradition objects to their being disqualified by the accident of death. Democracy tells us not to neglect a good man’s opinion, even if he is our groom; tradition asks us not to neglect a good man’s opinion, even if he is our father.” G.K.Chesterton, Orthodoxy Chapter 4.

Dialogue, wrote Pope Paul VI, "is the new name for Charity" (Ecclesiam Suam).  He says it is peaceful, patient and generous.

Dialogue is very different to debate or even discussion. Dialogue is rather: 

• A mutual search for the truth which implies an attempt to understand the other as they understand themselves.
• It is a mutual attempt to communicate the truth which imples an honest attempt to convey one's ideas, feelings and wishes, and to receive those of the other person.
• It is more evocative than provocative as it seeks to respect, rather than alienate, and 'step into the shoes' of another.

"The brothers, for their part, are to express their opinions with all humility, and not presume to defend their own views obstinately." RB3 

Try to practice non-contentions dialogue at home!

The Proper Characteristics of Dialogue

81. Dialogue, therefore, is a recognized method of the apostolate. It is a way of making spiritual contact. It should however have the following characteristics:

1) Clarity before all else; the dialogue demands that what is said should be intelligible. We can think of it as a kind of thought transfusion. It is an invitation to the exercise and development of the highest spiritual and mental powers a man possesses. This fact alone would suffice to make such dialogue rank among the greatest manifestations of human activity and culture. In order to satisfy this first requirement, all of us who feel the spur of the apostolate should examine closely the kind of speech we use. Is it easy to understand? Can it be grasped by ordinary people? Is it current idiom?

2) Our dialogue must be accompanied by that meekness which Christ bade us learn from Himself: "Learn of me, for I am meek and humble of heart." (56) It would indeed be a disgrace if our dialogue were marked by arrogance, the use of bared words or offensive bitterness. What gives it its authority is the fact that it affirms the truth, shares with others the gifts of charity, is itself an example of virtue, avoids peremptory language, makes no demands. It is peaceful, has no use for extreme methods, is patient under contradiction and inclines towards generosity.

3) Confidence is also necessary; confidence not only in the power of one's own words, but also in the good will of both parties to the dialogue. Hence dialogue promotes intimacy and friendship on both sides. It unites them in a mutual adherence to the Good, and thus excludes all self-seeking.

4) Finally, the prudence of a teacher who is most careful to make allowances for the psychological and moral circumstances of his hearer, (57) particularly if he is a child, unprepared, suspicious or hostile. The person who speaks is always at pains to learn the sensitivities of his audience, and if reason demands it, he adapts himself and the manner of his presentation to the susceptibilities and the degree of intelligence of his hearers.

82. In a dialogue conducted with this kind of foresight, truth is wedded to charity and understanding to love.

1964